January 5, 2006

Lohan Recovers In Miami

We wish Lohan the best in this new year and as we are trying to be a gentler , kinder soul, we apologize in advance for reminding the readers of this blog of her actions in the previous year. Being that Miss Lohan is currently hospitalized in Miami after suffering an "asthma" attack we will not pass judgement on her overdose/breakdown, but instead refer to the series of unfortunate events that have led her to this point. We begin 2006 much like the start of 2005. Mr. Wilmer ValdeRaaman Noodles was hosting a New Year's party in Miami which we are sure had something to do with Lohan being there in the first place. Back in 2005, Lohan and Wilmer broke up after she was hospitalized for "exhaustion" and Lohan just couldn't get over it. This led to a very public feud with Ashlee Simpson (click on links for backstory) which ended up with Simpson's song "Boyfriend" topping the charts and making Lohan sound pathetic. Lohan's father was put in jail for various reasons and her parents divorced and all hell broke loose and trimspa was everywhere. Then there were the two car accidents and a missed appearance on Regis and Kelly which angered the always calm Regis and then now we're here. This is not such a great place to be for Lohan but we suspect she'll play the "poor me" card which will be followed by the ReganBooks tell-all. Get better soon, Lohan. And Happy 2006.