February 17, 2009

And the "Gay Mannequin of the Year" Award Goes To...

Justin Timberlake, according to GQ's list of the ten most stylish men in America. Maybe we're old-fashioned, but we can't help but see "most stylish man of the year" as an oxymoronical title. This is based partly on personal experience: we know a "stylish man" who prances around with women's sunglasses hanging from half-buttoned shirts and spreads bogus rumors about women as part of a desperate attempt to obscure his repressed homosexual impulses. Maybe in the interest of balance between the genders GQ's next issue should feature a list of which ten female celebrities consume the most chewing tobacco.
Apparently JT credits his fashion sense to his "stepfather....who went to work looking like Richard Gere in American Gigolo." This raises some questions: How, exactly, did JT's inspiration get away with showing up half-naked at his job? More importantly, why would a grown man's father-figure take on the image of a male prostitute in a cherished childhood memory? Gross.

On a serious note: why does society persist in these absurd attempts to inflate the egos of famous people by handing out bogus awards? We fail to see how this particular list could possibly be meant for any other purpose- such as the entertainment and education of GQ's subscribers. If the proliferation of infinitely redundant award ceremonies created by the entertainment industry so it can collectively/incestuously pat itself on the back didn't fill the void in joe-celebrity's psyche, some bullshit ranking for "cutting-edge hairdo," or "bountiful flower arrangements in home" will hardly finish the job. It's a viscous cycle, and it needs to stop.