August 28, 2005

Tom Cruise Is Totally Straight

From what we can gather, Tom Cruise really liked to dress like a girl as an adolescent. Then he rolled around with other boys as a wrestler in middle school and then again in 2001 (according to gay-porn star, Chad Slater). Tom didn’t finish high school, instead pursuing the priesthood and then acting. Wrestlers, priests and actors are never gay, so we're not sure why everyone questions his sexuality.