June 27, 2006

Bridge & Tunnel Through and Through

Dear Lindsay,

We knew it was a mistake when we agreed to let you in on the social scene here in New York and you proved why a girl from Long Island is just that - a girl from Long Island. We told you it was a big responsibility, but you begged and pleaded and we felt sorry for you because Wilmer had just dumped you and now look where we are. Most of the time people laugh off your ridiculous behavior with a, "Oh, that's just how Lindsay is," but this time you went too far and we feel it's time to rescind your invitation. It's not because of the drinking and drug binge you were on, but rather your behavior during said excursion. Here's the thing - Mr. Sean "Diddy" Combs and Miss Paris Hilton are true residents of this fair city and when you publicly argue with them and make everything about you, you, you....well, it's childish and embarrassing. When you are kicked out of establishments, it's a good idea to just leave, and not throw glasses at the owner. Oh, and that little crying bit you did was priceless. Learn to control your buzz and respect others. And stay in Los Angeles. Or Long Island. Anywhere but here.

With best wishes,
New York City