June 15, 2006

Brit And Matt On Dateline Tonight

What is up with the hair, Brit? We know you can afford a proper dye job so let's get it together. We were sorry to hear that Madonna has cut you off, but we do respect her position. We also understand why Mel Gibson is selling his $24 million mansion in Malibu to get away from you, but you musn't take these things personally. Some people will give up on you when it seems you are beyond help but as long as you try and improve yourself, all will turn out just fine. One more thing - please, please, please start wearing proper attire. If not for yourself, then for the children.