August 29, 2006

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

In an effort to be famous for some reason other than being a porn star, Paris Hilton released an album last week after many years of threatening to do so. In the first week, she sold 75,000 copies which is not very many and Soundscan projects that Paris will sell only 30,000 copies this week. In a recent interview Paris said of her album, "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good." While she lies to herself about her musical talent, Paris is also lying in interviews to improve her promiscuous image. She is telling anyone that will listen that she will not have sex for a year and that she has only had sex with two guys. Yes, in her lifetime. Two. Moving on, the son of Cher and Gregg Allman, Elijah Blue Allman, was on Howard Stern last week and told of his sexual experience with Paris before she was famous. 'He got nervous right afterward that he might have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from her. Allman says he was so worried, he raced downstairs and grabbed a household cleaning product to pour over his private parts and "disinfect" them.' As for her BFF, Brandon Davis, Life & Style reports that his family is selling their home so he has moved in with Paris, and that "They're hooking up, but she doesn't want anyone to know about it. It's being kept very hush-hush." While Paris is not the brightest gal, at least she's smart enough not to want people to know she's with Brandon. We'll give her that.