October 25, 2006

JJ Federline Makes His Debut

The birth certificate belonging to the baby formerly known as Sutton Pierce Spears Federline was filed yesterday in Los Angeles confirming that the baby is named Jayden James Federline, and he is in fact a boy. Initial reports were that the child was a girl to be named Jailynn, based on the frequent pre-birth shopping trips by Brit Brit in which she bought all newborn girls' items. Now her security team does the shopping for the newborn girls' clothes and last week a video paparazzo had his footage seized by Brit's security detail. Why all the secrecy? It's a slow news day so yes, we'll go there. Perhaps the baby is transgender like little Patty on Footballers' Wives. It is a proven fact that one in every one thousand babies born is transgender and while operations were initially performed at birth, the medical community now advises that parents allow the child to mature so that their brain's sexual identity will determine their physical identity. Not that this is the situation with little Jayden, but the name is adrogynous. According to Social Security records for 2005, the name Jayden was ranked 54th in popularity for newborn males. Jayden was ranked 224th for newborn females. Like we said, it's a slow news day.