February 20, 2007

Wacky Jackie

Jackie Hatten, a virtual nobody, has been making the rounds on the cable networks trying to profit from the death of Anna Nicole Smith. Hatten is truly pathetic and will most likely return to obscurity (hopefully) before too long, but we'd like to take this opportunity to call her bluff. She appeared out of nowhere shortly after Anna's death and claimed to be her best friend. She continues to refer to Anna as "my friend" as demonstrated in the above clip, and we're curious as to why no one has ever seen her on Anna's reality show, nor with Anna at any events. Jackie claims that Anna wanted her to be Dannielynn's Godmother, yet the two had not spoken for at least six years. How does that work? Jackie's brother primarily goes by the name Mark Richmond Fetters and is currently serving a 7 year sentence for stalking Anna. Naturally, Jackie blames Howard K. Stern for setting her brother up, and the lawyer in the above clip was Mark's lawyer in the stalking case. First of all, Howard K. Stern does not have the power to have an innocent man convicted of a sentence he didn't commit. Secondly, this lady smokes crack. Seriously. Hatten and her brother are so desperate for attention that Mark wrote a letter to the editor of TMZ.com in which he claims he could be the father of Dannielynn. Below is the letter in all its glory. Now it's time for Jackie Hatten to go away. Cut. Scene.