August 9, 2008

The Fancy Dance Olympics

While the Olympics are displayed on all NBC's networks, the fashion and choreography extravaganza of the opening ceremony will only truly feel at home on Bravo, snuggled right in between "My Life on the D-List" and "Flipping Out."

But seriously: while this fabulous spectacle doesn't strike fear into the hearts of capitalists everywhere on quite the same level as endless columns of uniformed, disciplined, cold-blooded Soviets marching to the rhythm set by tanks and missile launchers, we should all take heed. While the commentator might suggest that the horde of dancers holding up a stage for one performer is a statement on the relation of the individual and the masses, the meta-"statement" of all the performances by the Chinese government is: "we have a ton of money and even more people, and we can do whatever we want with all of it. "

We just hope that if China does take over the world, the music they impose on us has some balls, like that which accompanied the mind-boggling, rockettes-on-steroids, pulsating-human-squares number, as opposed to the sing-songy crap which accompanied the finale and many of the other absurdly extravagant displays of economic clout and readily-available cheap labor.