August 24, 2008

Pocket Full Of Kryptonite

So what's the deal with Tom Cruise always putting his hand in his pocket when the press is around? We're thinking maybe it's a secret signal to the Xenu followers or a love message to his boyfriend. Whatever it is, Suri is pissed. Seriously. Look at that kid. Like many Scientard kids (think Leah Remini's appearance on Rachael Ray) she's still on the bottle filled with barley water at like 3 years old. We're no experts, but that is definitely too old for a kid to be on the bottle. That's probably why she's so angry. She's wants her freakin' bah-bah. Last night TomKat attended a Broadway show and deflected attention away from fellow Scientard, Will Smith, after Page Six ran an oh-not-so-blind item about him -'WHICH hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital - and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut.' Six Degrees of Separation is one of our favorite movies, but we always thought it was strange that Smith refused to kiss his male co-star in the film. Imagine if Heath Ledger or Jake Gyllenhal said, "Okay, I'll portray a gay guy but I won't kiss another man." Hello! It's a movie. Do your job. Anyway, it's pretty obvious that Will's wife, Jada, plays for the other team and they have a Travolta/Preston marriage, but getting violent is totally scary. As are the Scientards, but you already know all about that. There was a police report filed but after receiving $500,000 cash the report was conveniently misplaced and he didn't press charges. But seriously, what is up with Tom Cruise and the hand in the pocket?